Help!

Ahhh, I'm being attacked by this lamb!

Mmmmmmm, wallpaper paste

OK, so I take back all my feelings of remorse over feeding Kaylin solids. It's not sad at all, it's FUN! Who knew?

Kaylin had her first non-boob meal just over a week ago. We started with good ol' rice cereal. (Why do they call it cereal? Why not just name it what it is for God's sake - mush.) Brian picked up some President's Choice organic rice mush which, when mixed with water, smells and looks like wallpaper paste. Thankfully Kaylin has not yet tasted actual wallpaper paste, so she's none the wiser.

The first spoonful was greeted with curiosity. But as soon as she realized there was something foreign on her tongue, a look of "what the hell is in my mouth?" swept over Kaylin. This was quickly followed by a look of "Finally, something new! Gimme more!"

Not the type to sit back and let someone else do the driving, Kaylin decided by her third spoonful that she would control the spoon. So with each swoop of mush, she grabbed the spoon handle and drove the mush into her own gob. (Don't worry, I continued my deathgrip on the spoon so that it didn't end up halfway down her throat.) Her coordination is not bad for a tiny human, with only the odd glob of mush making its way to her cheek.

And so the solids have begun. Since that day, she has also enjoyed some lovely barley mush. Tomorrow she tries oat mush. And next week, she's moving to the non-mush food groups - veggies!

Happy half birthday!

Happy birthday Kaylin! It's February 16th and you are half a year old today.

OK, I know, my letters to you are usually pretty mushy. But not this one. Today I just want to celebrate you and how much you've grown.

You're such a little person! Your dad and I can't get over it. You are sitting up on your own and saying da-da, ba-ba, and my new favourite bla-bla. I love watching you as you carefully examine your toys, turning them over in your hands, investigating each angle, before popping them into your mouth -- or better yet, drop your whole head onto the toy, instead of lifting it to your mouth.

Your smile lights up the room and your laugh makes me laugh more than anything on this planet. You rock that exersaucer like nobody's business! You are the best thing since sliced bread and I'm so glad you chose us as your parents.

Happy 1/2 year birthday, baby!

Love, mommy

Enough about that baby

My friend Jo posted her answers to the below questions on her blog, the story of today, and invited others to do the same. So here are mine.

I know, you are all here looking for more baby news. Well, tough. I'd like a little attention for a second. I'll get back to that baby tomorrow.

1. What time did you get up this morning? 7:10 AM.
2. Diamonds or pearls? Pearls in my ears...diamonds on my fingers!
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Oooh, "the cinema" - how fancy...oh, ok, it was The Family Stone (sans baby!)
4. What's your favorite TV show? Lost
5. What did you have for breakfast today? A piece of toast with PB and honey
6. What's your favorite cuisine? Italian
7. What food do you dislike? Mushrooms - ick!
8. What is your favorite chip flavor? Sour cream and onion
9. What is your favorite cd at the moment? James Blunt, "Back to Bedlam"
10. What kind of car do you drive? 2001 Honda Accord
11. Favorite sandwich? My mom's egg salad, with a side of Doritos and a cold Pepsi (a.k.a. my favourite lunch ever)
12. What characteristics do you despise? Big egos - people who brag about themselves (you know they are secretly insecure)
13. Favorite item of clothing? My Old Navy "perfect fit" Ts
14. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation where would you go? Australia
15. What color is your bathroom? Painter's beige
16. Favorite brand of clothes? Any brand where the pants actually fit normal women!
17. Where would you retire? Onto my front porch, with my grand children sitting on my lap
18. What is your favourite time of day? Dinner time, when B gets home and we can all be together
19. What was your most memorable birthday? My surprise party - 30th or 29th? I can't remember
20. Where were you born? Chatham, Ontario
21. Favorite sport to watch? Figure skating
22. Who do you least expect to send this back to you? Not sure
23. Person you expect to send it back first? We'll see!
24. What's your favorite laundry detergent? Ivory Snow
25. Were you named after anyone? No
27. When did you last cry? At my uncle's funeral
28. Do you like your handwriting? Hate it
29. If you were another person would YOU be friends with you? Yes
30. Are you a daredevil? No, though I went drug-free during labour (some may call that stupid)
31. Do looks matter? No, though it doesn't stop me from wearing make-up to the corner store
32. How do you release anger? I've been known to throw a thing or two
33. Where is your second home? What, like a cottage? I wish.
34. What class in High School was totally useless? Keyboarding!
35. Do you use sarcasm a lot? As much as possible
36. Favorite movie? "Babe"
37. What are your nicknames? Pie, Pienesh, Pizanno, etc....courtesy of my husband
38. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? No
39. Do you think that you are strong? Hey man, check out question #30!
40. What's your favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate
41. What are your favorite colors? Pink, sage green
42. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? Self-doubt
43. Who do you miss the most? My parents (don't worry, they're still with us. They just live a few hours away)
44. Do you want everyone to send this back? No, because I'll never have time to read them all
45. What color pants are you wearing? Blue jeans
46. What are you listening to right NOW? David Bradstreet's "Good Night, Sleep Tight"
47. Last thing you ate? See question #5
48. If you were a crayon what color would you be? I hate these questions... I don't know, red
49. Last person you talked to on the phone? My sister
50. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Eyes
51. What's your favorite drink? Milk
52. Do you wear contacts? Yep, I'm blind as a bat
53. Favorite day of the year? August 16
54. Scary Movies or Happy Endings? Happy endings
55. Summer or Winter? Winter
56. Hugs or Kisses? Hugs
57. What is your favorite dessert? Chocolate cake with chocolate ice cream
58. What book are you currently reading? "The No-Cry Sleep Solution"
59. What's on your mouse pad? "DELL"

The mullet is dead! Long live the mullet!

The funny little patch of hair at the nape of Kaylin's neck, to which we lovingly referred to as the "Ajax mullet", is officially gone! For those of you who never met the mullet, it was quite a sight. This picture doesn't do it justice.

The mullet tried to hang on as long as it could. Even when all the rest of her hair came in thicker and blonder, Kaylin's brown little mullet stood strong, vowing to adorn her little head till the end of its days. Alas, its days were numbered and the mullet is but a distant memory. So long little mullet, so long.

What's next? University?

Sigh, I know it's cliché to say this, but they really do grow up so fast. I'm feeling a little blue because tomorrow is a big day for Kaylin - she's trying her first nibble of "solid" food. It's hardly any more solid than the breast milk she's been subsisting on for the past six months, but it's a major step towards eating real adult food. Soon she'll be trying sweet potatoes, peaches, and apples.

Even more so, it feels like a step away from me. Sure, she still needs breast milk every day. But every morsel of solid food we add to her daily repertoire means she's that much closer to weaning off the breast. And weaning means the slow severing of that oh-so special bond that only she and I share. That makes me so very sad.

That makes me so very sad.

It's like the first time I actually watched her daddy give her a bottle of pumped milk. I started sobbing. Why, she didn't even need me to be there! She didn't even seem to notice that I wasn't the one feeding her. She looked so happy to be gulping back this bottle that daddy was offering. Sure, it was me in that bottle, but I wasn't there to hold her in my arms, stroke her golden hair, or stare at her beautiful little face as she drank. And she didn't look up at me with her yummy smile when she was done.

So, tomorrow, I will fight back the tears as my little angel has her first taste of rice cereal. I will try to celebrate this milestone with her and cheer her on as she experiences this new sensation. And when her little tongue first pushes that foreign bit of mushy goo out in disgust, my heart may do a secret little dance of joy.

Enough already

If I may rant for a moment, I'd like to speak out against a disturbing trend I've noticed lately - the excessive use of phrasal verbs in Do-It-Yourself-type shows and articles. It's driving me bonkers!

Here are a few examples. Home decorators and designers no longer just paint. Instead they've started using the term paint out, as in "I'm going to paint out this old table and give it a fresh new look". Puhleeeeze. And chefs no longer simply bake, they bake off, as in "I'll bake off this cake in a 400 degree oven for 35 minutes." Ick. I even heard someone describe taking a shower as showering down. What the?

I believe in speaking plainly. Say what you mean for Pete's sake! Why pad your descriptions of everyday activities, like painting and baking, with unnecessary fluff just to make what you're doing sound more complicated? It's just painting!

Thanks for listening. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go diaper out my baby and drink off a cup of coffee.

Mmmm mmm good

I just love the way Kaylin experiences the world with her mouth. Her first reaction to any object that makes its way into her hands is to immediately shove it into her gob. When you think about it, it's a bit unsanitary really. But hey, God made dirt so dirt won't hurt.

Most recently, our brilliant daughter has discovered that if she pulls hard enough, her left foot will in fact reach her mouth. How awesome is that? Not only do her wiggly toes give her tender teething gums a gentle massage but she gives herself a mini foot rub at the same time. Toes....yummmm.

Here are a few other items that Kaylin has, at one time or another, gnawed on:

• Every toy that she's come into contact with (hers and other babies')
  
• My hair
• The remote control
• Clean diapers
• My glasses
• Our fingers
• The telephone
• Our faces
• My knee
• Her own socks
• My nose
• Kleenex
• My foot
  
• A drinking glass
• Washcloths
• My elbow
  
• A package of caramel-flavoured Vodka mudshots*

Aw Kaylin, you make your parents so proud!


*Note - no mudshots were ever consumed, please don't contact Children's Aid

Kaylin speaks out!

Big news! Kaylin has spoken out! In a rare move, Kaylin made sweeping statements about how much Canada will change, and not for the better, if Stephen Harper's Conservatives are voted into power on Monday.

OK, that's not true. Kaylin didn't speak out....but she did speak! Kaylin said her first word yesterday - "dada". She might not know what it means just yet, but just hearing her say those two syllables is so amazing and hilarious.

Happy birthday baby

Happy Birthday my sweet baby. You are five months old today!

I can hardly believe it - just yesterday I was rubbing my round belly dreaming of what you would be like. And now here you are, and as amazing as can be. In only five short months, you've become such a little person.

Five months ago you couldn't even hold your own noggin up to see what was happening in front of you. And now you are interested in and exploring this new world around you, grabbing everything and anything you can get your little hands on - particularly your own wiggly toes.

Five months ago you could only communicate through the most heart breaking newborn cries. And now you are giggling, babbling, whining, groaning, whispering, gasping, and squealing with delight.

Five months ago I wasn't sure when I would feel that special bond that other mothers always talked about. And now your face lights up when I enter the room and my heart sings whenever I see your gorgeous face. We are bonded.

Happy birthday my love-a-dove. I cannot wait to discover what your future holds (but please just don't grow up so fast).

Love, mommy

Boldest pig in the land

It was seven months ago this week that we lost our dear piggy Tuppenny. I know most of you are thinking, "how can she get sentimental over a rodent?"

True, most rodent pets, like hamsters and gerbils, rank pretty low on the interactive-pet scale. You can't really bond with a gerbil.* But GPs are actually very affectionate, social creatures with amazing personalities. Especially Tuppenny.

Tuppenny's favourite thing to do was stretch out on my lap while I stroked her soft,white fur. She was very much like a cat that way. She truly enjoyed human company.

She had a mind of her own. We called her the "bold pig". If, while she was out on the floor, something got in her way, she would position her shoulder up against it and shove it out of her way. If she heard you rummaging in the fridge, she would let out the loudest wheeeek as if to say, "hey, while you're in there, grab me some lettuce!".

Tuppenny was our little medical miracle. In 2002 she was diagnosed with ovarian cysts. After her surgery, the vet told us the cysts she removed were the largest she had ever seen in a GP. Two years later she was suddenly frightened and pulled out one of her own little toes that had been hanging on to one of her cage bars. An hour later you wouldn't have even known she was injured. She was tough as nails!

This past June, her cysts returned. At almost six years, Tupp was just too old to operate on. With heavy hearts, we said good bye to our little furry friend.

Farewell little one. We still miss you.


* If you have ever bonded with a gerbil, I apologize for my sweeping remark.

An open letter to the baby sock people

Dear people who make baby socks,

Are you kidding me? Do you people actually sleep at night knowing that the little pink socks you manufacture each day never really serve their purpose? How can you look in the mirror when you know full well that the tiny toe covers you produce never really stay on said toes?

On behalf of all mothers everywhere, let me say that I am quite disappointed in all of you. Baby socks do not stay on!

You should be paying me to be searching the floor every half hour for those little tubes of stretchy cotton! I should send you an invoice for all the time I spend putting those socks back on my baby's adorable feet. And what about all the time I waste smooching those little exposed piggly-wigglies when your stinky socks fall off? You owe me big time!

I hope that this letter makes you stop and think about yourselves and the injustice you create in this world on a daily basis. You should be ashamed.

Yours truly,

Charlene

PS - And why do newborn socks have treads on them? Where exactly is my baby going in those treads that I don't know about?

I do not!

The strangest thing happened last night.

It was 4am and Kaylin was kicking her toes for her usual mid-night feeding. This is also the feeding that I normally change her "weighs 10 lbs by now" diaper. However, I needed to "change my diaper" first, if you know what I'm saying. So I gave her the pacifier...well, to pacify her while I ran to the washroom.

Next we were off to the change table, where Kaylin sleepily continued sucking the soother while I peeled back layers of Grobag and sleeper. Much to my chagrin, her sleeper was damp, signalling a leek...no, not a leek, a leak. (I can't seem to spell anymore. Don't tell my boss.) After I stared at Kaylin for a few moments pondering, "would she go back to sleep in a damp sleeper?", I made the more motherly decision to put her into something dry.

Keep in mind, it's 4am and I'm really not awake. I clumsily picked Kaylin up and took her Grobag (sleeping bag) off, then put her back down. Next I took her damp sleeper off and picker up her again so I could remove the offending clothing, then put her back down. Finally, her undershirt had also been slightly soiled, so I stripped that one off. I scooped Kaylin up one more time so I could lay a dry (and awfully cute pink striped) sleeper under her. Poor thing had been jostled around like a rag doll. And that's when it happened.

As I put her back down, she rolled towards me, put her two hands on my left arm, looked me in the eye and said through her soother, "you suck." At least that's what it sounded like.

To which I nodded my head and responded, "yes, I am aware."

Blah blah blahs

It's a typical Canadian January day...cold and wet. Blah. My energy level peaked at about 9:30am and all I want to do now is dive back into that giant tin of chocolate cookies that were left on my counter by Satan himself. Kaylin is snoozing and I'm going around in circles trying to figure out how this whole Blog thing works. When did I become so technologically inept? I've become that 30-something who needs a 12 year old kid to show her how to program her VCR. When did that happen? And why would I still use a VCR?

I suppose I could ask my husband Brian for some help. He is, after all, a web designer by trade. Check out his site - Chronicology. But I want to figure this out for myself. Using the few brain cells I have left after giving birth, I'm going to get this thing up and running. Wish me luck.

Me me me

Odd, but for someone who hates talking about themselves, I have this overwhelming urge to start up my own Blog. Me me me ... it's all about me. This may have something to do with the fact that I currently spend my days babbling to an infant. My infant, that is. (Not just any random infant off the street or anything.)

As fun as that sounds, it's not too stimulating. Most of my conversations go something like this -- "Hi sweetie pie! Who's my sweetie pie? Are you my sweetie pie? Yes, yes you are my sweetie pie!" I've also been known to utter such phrases as "have you pooped yet?", "is that your nose?", and the ever-popular "I'm going to eat your toes!". All this from a communications professional. Oy.

"I'm going to eat your toes!"

Allow me to introduce myself. For those of you who don't know me, I'm Charlene and the aforementioned infant is my raison d'etre Kaylin. She was born in August of 2005. And, as you might have guessed, I love her toes. I think I love them even more than chocolate. Probably even more than chocolate ice cream, which, if you know me, is a staggering amount.

In between diaper changes and toe smooching, I'll be popping by to blab and blog about life in general and Kaylin in particular. It's my way of staying connected with the WBK (World Beyond Kaylin). Hope to see you there!