We'll miss you daycare

Six months ago, I started transitioning Kaylin into daycare. On our second day there together, I watched as another woman pushed my baby girl in a stroller, away from me, and into a world where I wasn't needed. I lost it. I turned away so Kaylin wouldn't see me and shook with grief, unsure if I could handle leaving my baby with someone else during the day. I cried for the next hour as each of Kaylin's new daycare teachers consoled me and handed me tissues, assuring me they would take excellent care of my baby.

Today was Kaylin's last day at daycare and I cried again. But for different reasons. As difficult as the past few months have been - getting Kaylin used to daycare, all the sickness that comes with being exposed to so many new kids, leaving her all day - we were fortunate enough to find an amazing daycare. Kaylin learned a lot while there, and most importantly, had so much fun (as you can see here, dancing with her best friend Taylor).

Which made today that much more difficult. It should have been a happy day for me. But I was sad. Sad that Kaylin wouldn't see her teachers and little friends again. The hardest part was saying goodbye to Debbie, one of her teachers and a woman who probably loves Kaylin as much as I do (well, almost).

Each night when I picked Kaylin up, Debbie told me funny stories about that day, often letting me know that Kaylin was "too smart for her own good." Nothing makes a parent feel better than knowing how much others enjoy their child's company.

Kaylin had a grand farewell party today, complete with cake and gifts. But it was tough saying good-bye. Debbie could barely look at Kaylin today without tearing up. And I could barely look at Deb. But finally, at the end of the day, Deb and I hugged good-bye and cried together. We'll miss Debbie and everyone else at daycare.

Welcome Emelia [or: Oh how my maternal clock ticks...]

First of all, welcome to the world Emelia Lorraine Teeter! You are so beautiful and so lucky to have such wonderful parents. We can't wait to meet you and touch your tiny baby toes.

Now, down to business. How could you do it? I was doing fine up till this point. I was happy with the way things are. And then you came along, looking oh so cute in your teeny yellow sleeper, all peaceful and pink. There you are, in your itsy bitsy pink cap. Emelia, you've got my clock a tickin' again! Just seeing you in the pictures from your parents' site brings back a flood of memories from when Kaylin was born. You've reminded me how amazing it is to give birth to such a perfect little wonder. Emelia, you're makin' me want another baby...now!

Sigh, I'm sure it will pass. First things first...must pack every article we own and move it down the 401. And then maybe I'll start thinking about a sibling for Kaylin. But I'm warning you, when we meet in the next few weeks, I don't want to hear any baby coos from you or see you flash your big, deep blue eyes at me! That's just not fair. Not fair at all.

Goodnight cubicle, goodnight desk...

Tomorrow is my last day of full-time, "out of the home", work. Not forever, I'm sure. But for a while.

After tomorrow, I'm going to be a full-time mom. I'll admit, my feelings about this change from hour to hour. Naturally, I'm really excited to be able to spend my days with Kaylin, watching her grow and helping her to learn about the world. What better job is there than to spend these early years with your child? I also feel really lucky to have such a supportive husband who is willing to carry the financial weight while I manage the household. Thankfully, we're on the same page when it comes to how we want to raise our children. And my plan is to get into freelance work that I can do from home. So I'm really leaving the working world so much as leaving the traditional work place.

But a part of me is going to miss going to work and that independence I have when I'm there. Going window shopping at lunchtime, grabbing a coffee with a coworker, eating out. Yes, I can do all these things with Kaylin, but not necessarily on my schedule or with the freedom I can when I'm on my own. I won't even mention going to the bathroom on my own.

I'm also fearful that I'll forget "how" to work. Sounds silly, but who knows what things will be like when I return to the working world in a few years. Technology moves at such a pace that email could be obsolete by then! Will I forget how to interview for a job? How will employers perceive the gap in my resume?

I think I'm just feeling wistful about my last days on the job. I'm going to miss the work I do and all the people I do it with. It's been a great six and a half years. But I know that, for me and my family, there is no better option than for me to be home with Kaylin. It is going to be amazing. And by this time next week I'm sure I'll be thinking, "job? What job?"

Going once, going twice....SOLD!

I'm thrilled to announce (at the risk of jinxing a conditional offer) that our house sold last Friday. Yiipppeee!!! The closing date on this house is March 16, which gives Kaylin enough time to pack up the entire house while I sit on the sofa eating bon-bons and watching Ellen. You're never too young to learn to use a tape gun, I say.

And oh yeah, I only have 7 more days of working for the man left! Then I'll be working for the toddler. I cannot wait. Duties will include taming that friggin' hair on an hourly basis, picking peas up off the kitchen floor, and convincing the toddler that watching the Baby Beethoven DVD for a 16th time is not a good idea. The benefits are good though (including frequent hugs and full access to ten tiny toes), so I don't mind.

First (official) snow

"Poo poo" and other fine phrases

How friggin' handy is language? Kaylin now tells us when she's done a number 2! It's awesome. Not that we couldn't detect the offending delivery with our noses or help but notice what looks like a golf ball shoved down the back of her diaper, but now she comes up to us and announces in a soft whisper: "poo poo". I can't get enough of it (the speaking that is, not the poo poo.)

Other handy words and phrases recently added to her repertoire include "pee pee" (sometimes used similarly to above, but more often to name the toilet), "cole" (which means cold), and "no no no no no", which is always accompanied by a hearty shake of the head back and forth.

My favourite word of all right now is "ter-to", meaning turtle. She says a lot of her words in soft little whispers, but "ter-to" is the best. Try it - quietly whisper "ter-to" to yourself as you read this. Ter-to... ter-to... ter-to. Isn't that fantastic?!?

OK, I guess it's not as exciting for the rest of the world. But it's pretty exciting to me (not sure what that says about me).

See ya 2006!

As Brian will tell you, I'm not a big fan of odd-numbered years. Despite the fact that Kaylin, Brian and I were all born in odd-numbered years, I just don't like them. They make me feel uneasy. So it's with great pleasure that I look back at 2006 (a very even year) and recap my top ten favourite moments.

10. Kaylin gets her first "job". (See Kaylin's feeling "quity") We'll never know if she would have ever received any modeling assignments, but it's still really exciting to think she could have been a baby model. At the very least, it's something she can think of fondly when she hits that awkward not-so-attractive stage of puberty.

9. Always a bridesmaid. Four wonderful people were married this year, and I was lucky enough to stand up in their wedding parties - my brother Dennis and his wife Tina, and our friends Tiffany and Jeff. This, in turn, meant my very first pedicure. Yayy pedicures!

8. I return to work. Yes, I cried and screamed when it was time to put Kaylin in daycare. I didn't think I would survive the separation. But my first few weeks back at work were nothing less than lovely. Everyone was so happy to see me. I got to wear something other than jeans and I went for lunch! (Going for lunch is such an adult thing. Kaylin and I don't go to Milestones together very often.) Returning to work has helped me really appreciate my job, my coworkers, and how lucky I've been to work there for the past six years.

7. I quit my job. Despite the above, it was really fun to quit. OK, so I cried when I told my boss I was leaving, out of shear emotional release, fear of the unknown and sadness about leaving such a great job. But after a few days, it was fun to tell people that I had quit.

6. Kaylin takes her first steps. (See First Steps!) Human toes are miraculous things.

5. Kaylin and I go to the zoo....with daddy, with Auntie Sharon, with Karen, with KK's friends Tasha and Veronika and their mommies, and by ourselves. We definitely got our money's worth from the annual membership. It was particularly amazing watching how Kaylin's reactions to animals changed from visit to visit.

4. Kaylin says her first word - "kitty" - more accurately pronounced "keeeeee". (See Kitties, kitties everywhere) Sadly, in related news, I accidentally put Kitty in the drier last fall and permanently permed her beautiful, fluffy white fur. Kitty is not so cute now. And yet, Kaylin loves her to death.

3. Brian and I decide, after weeks of debate, to pick up and move to London to change our lifestyle and enable me to stay at home with Kaylin. (See The big move)

2. Kaylin cries it out. (See You told me so) I protested. I refused. I never thought I would let my child cry it out. But when your baby decides she won't go to sleep without three hours of rocking each night, your standards drop pretty quickly. Teaching Kaylin to go to sleep on her own was a life saver, for her and for me.

1. Kaylin says "mama" for the first time. [Insert sound of my heart melting here]

Happy New Year everyone!