As some of you know, I'm fulfilling a lifelong dream and finally taking a cake decorating course. Yes, I know, it's not a major, life-altering accomplishment, but it's something I've always wanted to try. It's fun and I get to lick icing off my fingers during class. How great is that?
Tonight, the woman who sits across the table from me during our cake decorating class each week asked me what I do. When she asked this, my heart skipped a beat. I had been dreading this moment for some time -- the first time a stranger asked me what I do for a living.
I had always wondered how I would react when someone asked me this. Would I beam, "I'm a stay-at-home mom and I love it!!" (which is the truth) or would I act nervous and embarrassed because I still worry how my new "job" looks to other working women?
Tonight I got my answer and I'm ashamed to say it was the latter. I stammered back to her, "What do I do? As in work?? Oh, I'm a stay-at-home mom." But then I felt the need to qualify my statement with "I just left my job a few months ago to make a career change," as if she would think better of me because, until recently, I was like her...I had a REAL job.
She then replied, "oh, so what career are you changing to?" She actually asked me this twice, because she didn't seem to understand that my new career WAS being a stay-at-home mom.
The entire exchange left me annoyed -- annoyed with myself that I'm still so worried about how other people perceive me and my decision to stay home with my child. Since when do I care about other people's view of me? All that matters is my daughter and how this is the best decision I could make for her and our family, right now.
I know I'm going to face this same situation again many times in the future. And it's still going to be tough for me to answer, at least the first few times. But I'm determined to give a better answer. I'll just muster up my confidence, stick close to my values, and try again to proudly announce, "I'm a stay-at-home mom!"
I think I'll also add, "And I like decorating cakes!!"
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7 comments:
And look at it this way, most people you know, especially those in your Monday Club would love to be able to do just what you are doing.
And I would too.
There's no shame in being able to be a parent with more involvement in your child's development.
You made the hardest and easiest decision when you made the decision to leave the career world to the real and most important job of your life....
I envy the position you are in but I know that it comes with sacrifies. You are an amazing mommy and have nothing to explain to other people. You have the most important job in the whole world!!!
I may not have my Honda Shadow. I might be crabby some days when I can't buy the latest video game or the biggest screen TV, or the fanciest gadget that ever existed, but for me, knowing that the person who loves my girl the most is with her all day is worth all the Nintendo Wii's in the world.
Of course if asked, I will deny this, and not allow it to be held against me. I shall have the 37" LCD screen TV that I have my eye on, and on that day I will truly have my cake and eat it too!
You have the MOST important job in the world.... YOU ARE A FULL TIME MOMMY!!!!!
IMO you have the hardest damn job on the planet Char! For the year I was a stay at home Mom, I was looking forward to going back to work for the much needed break.
Never feel inferior for your choice, it is a career path that most women now aday could not suceed in!
I loved being a stay at home mom. They grow up so fast, why not be there to witness the little things that go on in their day big or small. I felt so guilty telling you about her day over the gate. Think about the career change when KayKay and any brothers or sisters have grown up and are in high school or college. There will be plenty of time for you to work after your real job is done. No one can love them like their parents can. I wish more people would focus on their children and less on material things.
Big hugs to all
Debbie
Thanks everyone for your lovely comments. You've filled me with renewed pride in my new role. And if anyone feels differently about me once they learn I'm a stay-at-home mom, then too bad for them!
PS - Debbie, don't ever feel guilty for telling parents about their babies' day! I loved the stories and was always so sad when you weren't there to fill me in. It was the highlight of my day (next to my K-K hugs!)
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