Tales from the crib

Kaylin is getting her “big girl bed” today! So exciting to watch my daughter move from her baby crib to her toddler twin! Maybe she’ll be one of those kids I always hear about who don’t even know they can get out of their bed without mommy or daddy. This is going to be great!

4pm: I showed Kaylin her newly-delivered bed and let her jump on the mattress, hoping she will get excited about the concept of her big bed. Yayy, big girl bed!

6:30pm: We had “big girl bed day” cupcakes to celebrate the special occasion. Sweet and delicious.

7:30pm: Hmmm, maybe not such a good idea to fuel the toddler with sugar before bedtime.

7:40pm: Brian dismantles the crib and we wave “goodbye” to it. Kaylin doesn’t seem to mind that her crib is out of the room. Gee, she’s so easy going.

7:45pm: The new bed is set up! Hmmm, also maybe not a good idea to encourage the toddler to jump on her bed. She seems to think it’s a trampoline. Oh well, I’m sure she’ll figure it out.

7:50pm: I let Kaylin pick the sheets for her new bed. She picks the all pink ones. Well, not the ones I would have chosen, but, what the heck, she’s a big girl now!

8pm: Put Kaylin to bed. She’s not asleep yet, but she looks pretty drowsy. I’m sure it will be a matter of minutes.

8:01pm: Kaylin ran out of her room. Ha ha, isn’t that cute? She’s so grown up! I gently escort her back to bed.

8:01:45pm: Kaylin ran out of her room again. Hmmmm, this isn’t going as well as I had hoped. I give her a serious gaze and escort her back to her bed.

8:03pm: Kaylin came out of her room and asks me to rock her in the rocking chair. Hmm, well, I guess I can do that. I do like rocking her. Ok!

8:10pm: I rock her for a few minutes and lie her in the bed. She looks like she’s going to go to sleep. That wasn’t too bad, but I mustn’t rock her tomorrow! Must help her to sleep on her own. Must must must!

8:11pm: Kaylin came out of her room. Gee, I sure would like to go watch some TV. The Fall line-up’s starting, you know. I sternly say, “Back to bed Kaylin!” and watch her jump into bed. Good, she’s starting to get the idea.

8:15pm: Kaylin comes out of her room. Sigghhhh, this isn’t fun at all. I’m starting to miss the crib already. We really shouldn’t have had those cupcakes. I escort her back to bed.

8:19pm: Kaylin stands at her door, calling for me. This really isn’t going well. I’m desperate. I offer to lie in bed with her for a few minutes, just to help her get settled. I won’t do this every night, just tonight. Hmmm, these pink sheets are really soft. Oh, and this is a great pillow. I should buy one for myself. Maybe it will help if I pretend to go to sleep. Yeah, that should work. I’ll just close my eyes for a sec......zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

There are no words

I've been in a bit of a slump lately, feeling sorry for myself and complaining about my "oh-so-tiring" existence as a stay-at-home mother. Just see my last post for a refresher.

Well, I quickly snapped out of it this weekend after reading a short news article in the Toronto Star. We've all read about them before..."mother charged with abuse after child brought to hospital with two broken ribs..." or "father charged with assault after infant found with bruises on back..." Unspeakable things happen to tiny children every day. It breaks my hearts, as I'm sure it does yours. I don't normally read these articles. I'd rather not know that all this is happening outside my front door.

But this weekend I read one. I read the whole article. And by the end I was sobbing. To sum it up for you, a mother came home to find her two-year old daughter sitting up in bed and crying, her face scalded by hot water to the point that her eyelids were sollen shut and large sores were forming, while the girl's father sat in the living room watching TV.

The man claimed it was an accident. He argued that he didn't have any money to take the little girl to the hospital in a cab. So, instead, he watched TV while this innocent little girl sat alone in her bedroom, crying, burning, wondering what she had done to deserve such a fate and knowing that she couldn't find any sympathy or love in the man who sat out in the living room. This tiny toddler stayed in her little bed, in pain, for hours, until her mommy came home and took her to the hospital. I cannot fathom how someone can hurt a small child and leave them to suffer just steps away. Even worse, I can't even begin to imagine what deep sadness that child must have felt, knowing that her own father wouldn't do anything to help her. I hope I never come close to experiencing such an emotion.

I read this and all I wanted to do was wake Kaylin up from her nap and hug her and tell her I love and tell her that her mommy and daddy will never, ever let something like this happen to her.

I also felt a renewed joy in being a mother. I have the energy, the will, and the resources to give my child a wonderful life. How lucky am I? So many parents don't and so they lash out the only people they know can't fight back - their children.

I guess I just want to sa that I'm in a particularly thankful spirit right now. I'm "snapping out" of my tired-mom mood and I'm going to keep trying to be the best mom I can be. Because that's what every child deserves, especially my own.

At least I'm not alone

It's 2pm on a Thursday afternoon and I'm frustrated, tired and annoyed. It's one of those days where I wish I worked outside of the home just so I could get a coffee break. It's Kaylin's nap time but she has been bouncing around in her crib for over 40 minutes now. Meanwhile, I'm in the next room losing my mind.

Yes, staying at home with Kaylin has its definite advantages. I don't miss a single moment of her day. I get to do all sorts of fun and interesting things with her. We sometimes hang out in our PJs until 10am. And I can get a hug and a kiss from her any time I want. I really do love it.

But, as I explained to Brian the other day, being a stay-at-home mom is like any job. There are days that you love your job and days that you want to quit.

And when someone's been "on the job" for hours on end without any time to stop and have a break, it's not unreasonable for that person to get tired, cranky and irritated--if not a bit irrational--when things aren't goint well. I mean, we've all cursed at the office printer for refusing to print that overdue report, haven't we? So it's completely normal that I might get a little short with my toddler when she exerts her own will and refuses to sleep. Right?

I used to think I was a bad mom because I sometimes got frustrated with Kaylin. But I was relieved and, to be honest, thrilled to find out that the other moms in our playgroup have all felt the same way! Who knew?

That's why I look sooooo forward to getting together with other moms on a regular basis. It's comforting to open your front door to find that same tired, "I-hardly-slept-last-night" look in someone else's eyes. It's nice knowing that you're not alone in the sometimes-scary world of child-rearing. And it can be scary, let me tell you!

Well, it's been almost a full hour of crib-bouncing. I think I've lost my coffee break today. I'd better go spring the toddler from her "prison" so we can carry on with our day. Maybe I'll get that break tomorrow. Maybe not.