Tick tick tick ...

The clock is ticking for Kaylin and me. In less than two short months, I'll be back at work and my little baby will be in day care. Our glorious days together are numbered, and the worst part is -- she doesn't have a clue.

That has to be the absolute hardest part: knowing that Kaylin won't understand what's going on. Why is mommy suddenly not there? Where did she go? As far as she is concerned, things are how they are. Kaylin and mommy spend every day together. That's life, the only life she's ever known.

Unfortunately, the mortgage doesn't get smaller on its own and the line of credit won't pay off itself. So with heavy hearts, we're sending Kaylin to day care. It will probably be harder on me than her, or at least that's what I tell myself when I can't bear to imagine how those first few difficult days will be. But I know she's going to a great place, with care providers who believe the same things we do and who will respect and love our child (maybe not quite as much as we do). She's going to grow and learn so much. And she'll be surrounded by other active kids and lots of fun and challenging toys.

As for me, I'm going to be sad. There's no other way to put it. I will be terribly and utterly sad. What began as the most challenging year of my life has become the most joyous. Kaylin is a wonderful, happy baby and a pleasure to be with. So until that day care day comes, I'll continue to enjoy every little moment, marvel at every new discovery, laugh at every hilarious expression, and snuggle into every warm hug. I'm going to make every second last!