My little baby girl turned 4 years old today. My life has changed dramatically in these past 4 years, so much that I hardly remember life before my children. I know it existed. I’m just not sure what I did with myself all day.
Now that there are two little monkeys keeping me very busy each day, I’m finding I have less time to spend on this blog. Also, I’ve found other outlets for sharing my news, photos and stories with many of my friends and family. So it is with much sadness that I say goodbye to “I Heart Baby Toes”. I’ll leave it up for a while, but I won’t be updating it anymore. I’d rather be spending my spare time sleeping or playing with my kiddies.
And so I leave you back at the beginning, Kaylin’s birth story. I’ve been meaning to write this down for myself and for Kaylin since she was born. While I’m at it, I thought I’d share it with you. Thanks for reading everyone!
Tuesday, August 16, 2005, is one of my favourite days, possibly my most favourite day of my life. Even though I worked harder on that day than I probably ever will in my life, even though I experienced more pain than I ever have in my life, it remains my favourite day. That is the day Kaylin was born.
I began having contractions early that Tuesday morning, around 4 a.m. but they were mild and irregular enough that I was able to get back to sleep. Later that morning the mild contractions continued but we still weren’t sure if this was the real deal or not. We were first-timers! To be safe, Brian stayed home from work and helped me time the contractions as we went about our morning. I had a shower, had some toast, and we watched TV. It was a beautiful, blue-sky sunny August day. Hot, but clear and gorgeous.
My midwives’ office called at one point that morning to cancel my scheduled 39-week appointment for later that afternoon because the on-call midwife had been at a birth all night and had gone home to sleep. Little did my midwife, Maysoon, know she was not getting any sleep today. She had another baby to deliver later that night...mine!
Midway through the morning we noticed the contractions becoming more regular and by 11 a.m. we paged my midwives to let them know. Poor, tired Maysoon called us back and listened as I went through a few contractions. She decided she would come over and check to see how far along I was. Within half an hour, Maysoon arrived and did a quick examination. It was almost noon and I was about 3–4 cm dilated. It was time to head to the hospital. At the time we were living in Ajax and I was to deliver at Markham-Stouffville Hospital, which was about 20 minutes away. Maysoon drove ahead in her car to get my room ready while Brian and I grabbed my bag and left shortly after.
Here’s where it gets interesting. At this point the contractions were pretty strong and I was in too much pain to keep my eyes open. So I tried to manage my pain through breathing exercises while Brian navigated his way to the hospital. This is a hospital that I passed every day on my way to work. Brian was not as familiar with the location, but was confident (as men often are) that he knew the best route. Well, 15 minutes into the (painful) drive Brian began to wonder where we were. I opened my eyes to find us driving somewhere in farmland. He didn’t know where we were and I wasn’t watching! In between contractions I yelled at him and together we found our way back to a recognizable road and eventually to the hospital.
By 1 p.m. we were in the delivery room. Much of the afternoon is a blur for me—literally. I wasn’t wearing my contacts that day and didn’t bother keeping my glasses on, since my eyes were glued shut in pain for much of the day. I didn’t need to see anything anyway, I suppose. I was so inwardly focused, trying to manage the pain without an epidural. I was given some nitrous oxide (laughing gas) shortly after arriving at the hospital. That was nice...so nice that my midwife had to pry the breathing mask out of my hands. Apparently I was relying on it a bit too much!
For the first 8 hours or so it was just the three of us in the labour and delivery room—me, Brian and Maysoon—trying various methods to help my labour along. There was a lot of swaying and hanging onto Brian’s shoulders. There was about an hour in the Jacuzzi tub during which Brian sat on the edge of the tub and rubbed my back almost the entire time. (He discovered the next day that spending an hour bent over me like that caused him to throw his back out. Poor Brian, what a wonderful birthing partner.) There was a lot of apple and orange juice sipping and ice chip sucking on my part. Besides the toast I had early that morning, this was the only fuel I had in me. My midwife wanted me to eat, but I couldn’t fathom it. Brian, however, was able to get out and grab something to eat, though the time he was gone and not right at my side felt like an eternity.
Labour continued on throughout the day and each time Maysoon checked me I had progressed a little further. And each time she checked the baby and found the heartbeat to be strong and steady, she happily exclaimed that the baby “is so happy!” That gave me a boost of confidence each time. I must have been doing something right. By about 9 p.m. the secondary midwife arrived, which meant the baby would be coming soon too. I can’t quite remember, but I pushed for about an hour—not fun. I was so tired and just didn’t want to do it anymore. But once the baby’s head begins to appear and the midwives are telling you that your baby girl is blonde, well, you find a reserve of energy you didn’t know existed. You are close enough to touch your baby, you are minutes away from meeting her! But it wasn’t until the secondary midwife told me to “get mad” that I really pushed...and I mean PUSHED! And at 10:32 p.m., my beautiful Kaylin Elizabeth was born. She was 8 lbs and 21 inches long. The midwives immediately put Kaylin on my chest. I will never forget that smell—graham crackers. She smelled like graham crackers to me. And she was so pink and warm. So tiny and so perfect.
When Kaylin was born, Brian cried. I don’t remember if I did or not. It’s a pretty overwhelming experience to watch your child being born. I was mostly ecstatic and relieved that the pain was over and my baby was here. And I was on the post-birth high. I could have run a marathon at that point, if I only I could have stopped shaking from exhaustion. Brian, who before this day was unsure how he would do during the birth, bravely cut the cord. I was really proud of him.
It had been a long, long day and I would have stayed the night at the hospital. But Maysoon was concerned about an infection that was going around the hospital and encouraged us to head home with Kaylin that night. We were happy to oblige. The thought of our own bed was glorious! At 1 a.m. that morning, we put our tiny little baby into our car and drove back to our house, no longer just two—we were now a family of three.
Happy birthday Kaylin! I love you so much, sweetie pie!
